What If?

Home / Ramblings / What If?
What If?

On the 23rd March the UK locked down in an attempt to limit the spread of Covid-19.

Almost one month later – on the 22nd April – we are STILL locked down. And today is the 50th Anniversary of Earth Day.

Here’s a random thought from the Mad Tog of Haddon ; – what if those two things are related? And what if we are all being too blinkered, too arrogant and generally too thick to understand the lesson that we are being taught?

What if the Universe is actually doing a bit of home schooling on a global scale…… and we haven’t quite caught on yet?

Here’s what I think (and….as those who know me well will confirm….baton down the hatches) :-


There is something weird that no one seems to notice. And that is that the natural world is feminine  Have you ever wondered why it is that….in a world that for so much of it’s history has been dominated by the masculine….we never refer to ‘Father Earth’ or ‘Father Nature’?  Mother Earth and Mother Nature are absolutely feminine to the point we never question it. It is just a given. And we accept it.

Similarly, if we trawl back through history, it would seem that we have never questioned it for a long, long time.

The ancient Romans worshipped their Goddess Terra Mater (“Mother Earth”) whilst the ancient Greeks were bowing down to their goddess Gaia.

The Vikings set off in their longboats for a bit of raping and pillaging leaving Fjorgjn, the female personification of the earth, in charge of the land back home.

Meanwhile – over in Germanic mythology we have Nerthus the ‘goddess of the earth’

The Inca’s had Pachamama, a fertility goddess who was in charge of agriculture, planting, harvests and earthquakes.

Whilst us Ancient Brits were running round in the rain thanking our primordial goddess Danu for everything she gave us.


Image of the Goddess Danu


Image Source – Pinterest


And these are just a few. Many of our deities – ancient and modern – that refer to the earth, or farming, or agriculture, nature, trees, mountains, streams or similar,  are actually female.

There is also a maritime tradition of referring to the sea in the feminine. Indeed, up until about 1979, when women’s movements got SERIOUSLY huffy about it, hurricanes and tropical storms were ONLY given female names. And you have to love THIS (“copied from Women in the World) which suggests that they were actually worried about introducing male names for hurricanes as male names wouldn’t invoke the terror that giving a hurricane a FEMALE name brought to the table:-

” The push to use male names was met with outrage cloaked in the fear that male names wouldn’t inspire enough caution. A piece in The Houston Post, published on January 4, 1977, reads, “Would a hurricane with a man’s name convey the same sense of imminent danger as, say, a Hurricane Carla? Chalk it up to the feminine mystique, but it’s doubtful that a National Hurricane Center bulletin that Tropical Storm Al had formed in the Gulf or Hurricane Jake was threatening the Texas Coast would make us run for cover quite as fast.”




So – what if we accept two things as a given :-

  1. That the Universe is female and

2. That hell hath no fury like a woman scorned/angry/fed up or just generally pissed off….. something ancient mariners knew only too well as they named those ominous brooding clouds on the horizon after us.

And not just scorned –  as any person who works with animals will tell you – THE most dangerous animal on the planet is a mother with young. And that is regardless of size or species.

We farm at home and our cows are lovely – until they have a baby! There is a reason that I was out with Pete in the calving pens late at night whilst he fed these newborn twins – and it was NOT to take this photograph! It was because of all the animals on the farm that night – THIS is the one that would kill him. Not because she is inherently nasty….. but because she has two new babies and she will protect them with her very soul (and there will not be a mother reading this that doesn’t get that). And when you are trying to get a newborn calf to take milk from a synthetic teat that it has no idea how to use it only has to make the tiniest suggestion of being scared and Mum will happily flatten the perpetrator that has shoved a feeding teat down her babies throat without her permission. Trust me – you do not argue with 750 kilos of beef and come out the other side overly well.


Farmer in cow shed feeding newborn calf watched by mother




So – what if the Universe is female. A bit angry. And out to protect, with her very soul,  what she has created?

From us.

Well…..truthfully…. speaking as a female of the species who is known to have a bit of a temper when provoked, who also just happens to be a mother…… I would think we are all in serious and deep trouble.

For 50 years (FIFTY YEARS!) the Earth Day Network has been working ‘in countries around the world to drive meaningful action for our planet’. Their work includes issues relating to climate change, conservation and plastic and pollution.

And yet in the last 50 years this planet has deteriorated to the brink of no return.

And because of us. Just ONE generation. With our ‘entitled to’ mentality.

Because WE are entitled to the world (literally!). We are ‘entitled’ to holidays. And we are entitled to fly all over the world to have them. We are SO entitled to holidays our employers actually PAY us to not be at work for 28 days each year so that we can take them!!!

When you actually stop and think about that (because we never do. It is just our ‘right’) don’t you think that is beyond incredible? Our Grandparents never had that right. My Grandad worked – or didn’t get paid. I can just imagine him being told to go home for 28 days ….and here’s your pay packet!

We are ‘entitled’ to be healthy. We can go to the hospital 24/7 and someone will ‘put us right’……even if we are only there because it’s Friday night and we’ve got as drunk as a lord and fallen under a bus.

We are ‘entitled’ to be happy. The rise in mental health issues confirms this as we all struggle for some Holy Grail that we can’t even identify.

We are ‘entitled’ to be fed. Yet even my Mum can remember when this wasn’t a given.

As a war baby she can remember not having things in the shops and not having regular meals. US?!!! We have a complete meltdown and stockpile toilet rolls at the mere suggestion of a problem oblivious to the fact that – for an entire generation – we have given NO THOUGHT to the fact we can walk into Tesco and buy strawberries in December (and actually get cross if they are not available and we had planned to do Eton Mess for Christmas Day pudding!)

Where DOES our food come from? Do we even CARE? Just weeks before the Lockdown a senior government adviser, Dr Tim Leunig, was quoted in leaked emails and is understood to have said that the agricultural sector is “not critically important” in the UK and that we could follow the example of Singapore which is “rich without having its own agricultural sector”.

Because being ‘RICH’ is the only thing any of us now care about.

What if the Universe has been watching all this go on for the last half a century and has finally had enough?

What if the Universe HEARD Mr Leunig – so thought she might just teach him a lesson about British Agriculture……and get every country to close it’s borders in the hope that he might just re-consider and wonder if being ‘rich like Singapore’ might not be such a great thing when he was dealing with an entire nation who could no longer import food and who had discovered that you couldn’t eat money?

What if the Universe has seen us flying in PPE from China because ‘it is cheap’ so thought we needed a lesson in the difference between ‘price’ and ‘cost’? Not to mention ‘value’?

What if she’s been watching us blame everyone else for global warming other than ourselves. Listened to the debates about methane from cows backsides ruining the planet as we happily fly our food in from the other side of the world to fill our ever increasing bellies and wondered if we are all going mad – so thought she would stop us flying, and using our cars……just for a few weeks ….to teach us THIS:-



Image Credit and Full Article – The Guardian




And is now sitting smugly (like only a woman can when she knows she’s winning an argument) waiting for the moment that she can say, full of righteous indignation  “……and the cows are STILL burping and farting”

What if she’s listening to us moaning about being locked in…..when we were never grateful for being allowed out?  Moaning about home schooling….when we never once thanked a teacher? What if she’s listening to us whining about the queues to get into the supermarket – with no thought to the fact there is still actually food to eat?

What if she’s watching us clap every Thursday night for the NHS….wondering why we always bitched about that penny on income tax to fund it?

What if she’s watching us whine about being locked in our beautiful homes, with internet connections , and mobile phones. and televisions, and computers….never once grateful just for the roof over our head?

What if none of this will go away until we learn that we are NOT entitled to ANY of these things…..but that we are honoured, and privileged and need to learn to cherish, love and look after everything she has given us?





Then I fear we may be in the situation that we are in now for a very, very, VERY long time.

Because what if she never forgives us?